Letter to Shivansh on your eight birthday

Dearest cuddly bear,

Happy 8th Birthday!

You will be squished, kneaded, and snuggled no matter how much you hate it. My gifted child, you make me proud. Of course, you draw so well, but you are such a sharp visual learner. You are always drawing things you find interesting and things that get your attention. However, the issue is finding a piece of your drawing sneaked in every corner of the house.

With a deep sense of music, you have a knack for rhythm, love to tango, and make us laugh. As much as I sort of like the character you introduced, Bendy, the protagonist of the horror game series, I worry and wonder if it’s normal for someone your age to enjoy something so dark and grim.

As you laugh out loud as though there’s no tomorrow, I wish your liveliness is not lost to discipline, rules, and senseless benchmarks. Isn’t it ironic that we push you to follow the rules and chase more marks? We, unfortunately, live in a place that gauges the superficial and punishes if you’re naïve.

Let’s get outdoorsy, laugh more, be funny, hocus and focus, and not get lost in the futile race to achieve more. And just because you're not expressive (other than the time you wish to poop), doesn't mean you are loved any less. You are crazily loved, valued, and cherished every single microsecond.

From a mom who wishes you live life to the fullest knowing who you truly are! 

Shilpa

  

 

 

Letter to Shreya on your eight birthday

 My mush machine,

You learned the F word this year. While you obviously don’t understand the meaning, you definitely know it shouldn’t be spoken.

Happy Birthday, my sugar ball.

Lately, there's been a role reversal in the snuggling department as you pull my cheeks, hug often, and give frequent pecks as though I were your child.

Was it a decade back that I wholeheartedly prayed for babies, and isn’t that what I prepared for? I didn’t prepare for the arsenal shot at me these days dressed as a barrage of whys in response to the most minor requests. Despite the several parenting reels that I consume every single day, why is it that when a pre-teen attacks you with a tantrum or a retort, I convulse into the monstrous mom?

I find myself torn in opposite directions as one version struggles to keep you in babydom while the other wishes you were more independent and self-reliant. The baby mom cuddles you so tight, hoping you never go away, so close that you wouldn’t even think about it. And yes, I will eat your lil’ edible nosey one day.

You are a smart missy who loves to sleep and hates to eat. Not the typical girl but it seems you exist with the sole ambition of controlling how your brother walks, sleeps, writes, and responds. Both of your personalities are so codependent that I can’t imagine what you would both be when apart.

Sorry for putting you under academic pressure. I give in. I must work harder this year to help you find something that you absolutely love to do. I’d like to believe you savor the language, but I don’t want to imagine things or force them on you.  

Let’s make it right this year since time is passing quickly. Enjoy this day, which is the most special one for me. 

Love beyond love from your petrified mom who detests you grow so quickly,

Shilpa 

Letter to Shreya on your seventh birthday

 Happy Birthday, my dictator and drama maestro, Shreya

Sometimes I feel it's unfair to write these letters as so much happens in one year that I might miss so much trying to lock the memories in a few words. But I hope you will someday understand that it's mom's little effort to reminisce about your growing-up years.

You're an emotional roller coaster, so while you're all cuddly and warmest on your highs, you are annoyingly stubborn and unreasonable at your worst. I love when we sing my favorite songs before we sleep, and you mount your leg like you own all of me despite all my flaws, and each day I owe my peaceful sleep to your unconditional love.

However, at the rate you're getting snappy and entering the teenage-like zone, I fear you're growing unreasonably fast. You leave us speechless and stunned with your brilliant retorts.  

On your birthday, I wish you the lasting joys of innocence and childhood, lots of playtime, and time to discover the things around you and within you and find what you love. Never stop believing in fantasies and fairytales, as we attract what we truly believe. 

I wish you always have the freedom to express what you truly feel, and please, my darling, give Shivansh some respite from your dictatorship.

Love you with every neuron and cell,

Your mom

Letter to Shivansh on your seventh birthday

 My cuddly boo bear,

There’s no other creature as funny and cute as you are. And while mama would like to squish you, you’re growing with your boy-like traits too soon. You hate PDA unless it’s the zone-out hour with your dad.

While I’m glad you’re not turning out to be the rowdy and rebellious lad, I’m concerned about your screen addiction and restlessness. I hope we can expose you to better things, so you’re not addicted to anything and get calmer.

While your antics are amusing, and your humor is endearing, I notice you seek constant validation. I wish you so much self-confidence and a sense of being that you never seek external validation and find everything within. Remember that a strong sense of being is ever so important. I wish you more confidence like you made us incredibly proud this year with your super impressive oratory skills.

Thanks for being incredibly patient with your sister. You show immense bravery and courage in the face of her tyranny and interference with every thing you do. 

Let’s get you moving this year and give you an action-packed year.

From a mom who finds a great sense of being from you,

Mommy

A little more

A  little more time,

A little gaze,

Doesn’t seem mine,

But I like the daze,

A little escape again,

A little more self-deception,

A little more free rein,

A few more distorted perceptions,

Ah the rain to wash the little more,

Just one more daydream like before,

Yes it will be just one more daydream like before,

Then I turn to my thoughts no more.

Letter to Shreya on your sixth birthday

 My heartbeat,

These letters have started to feel like those icky letters from ‘kuch kuch hota hai’ but neither am I the saree clad ghostly Rani Mukherjee and nor is there a Kajol waiting for your dad (or is there). And never will you play cupid.

And this analogy should be enough to tell you the craziness threshold your mom has reached.

I was all prepared to be the goo goo gaa gaa mommy, but never did I prepare for this six-year-old authoritarian. You may look like a diva but you’re a tiny dictator who always has answers to leave me dazed. Like when I told you to mind your business, you looked back and told me you don’t have a business. And Shivansh must walk, breathe, and move as you please.

My little one, as we continue to be stuck at home in these crazy times, I wish I can give you a normal world soon. While our childhood was all about outdoors, exploring and failing, I’m concerned that you both are deprived of all this in the most fun years of your childhood. Let’s hope for normalcy soon.

And Shreya to be likeable, stop being a bully. It's alright if people around won't do as you please.

I wish you have the most magical birthday and hope that you stay away from all the structured learning that is destroying your imagination.

Love beyond all the love in the world,

Your hugie pugie mom.

 

 

 

Letter to Shivansh on your sixth birthday

My Punjabi puttar,

You’re a foodie, and whenever we want to indulge, you’re our go-to person. I love how you’re clear about what you want to eat and what you want to do and get done with it. No drama, no qualms. As hyper restless as you might be, it’s hard for you to focus (always has been).

I understand when it’s only natural to punch Shreya as the bully shrieks at you or irritates you through the day. But I’m deeply disturbed at how serious these fights are getting each day.

On the chilly morning of 2016, when this 2.5 kgs baby came squealing into our lives, little was I prepared for his growing addiction to gadgets a few years later. I wish normalcy returns so that I can let you explore the world beyond the screens.

You might feel ignored when there’s someone boisterous always around getting all the attention with her charm and tact. But remember that you have our undivided attention, understanding and love, whether we say it or we don’t. I just wish you grow out of your shell to become more self-assured, ready to be seen and heard in the pandemonium.

As you grow in an environment obsessed with perfection, I hope you can confidently embrace your imperfections because that is what makes us human. I am immensely proud of who you are and what you will be if you work sincerely to be.

Love that knows no limits,

No longer your helicopter mommy (but still a crazy one)